After being sued out the ass for distributing a skincare drug that ruptures bowels, American pharmaceutical companies everywhere are relying on a shady government bailout to resurrect their respective economies. Surprisingly enough, that under-the-table sponsorship isn't going to research and development for a new skincare drug. The funding has been made specifically for teen stool health.
Concerned Teens America (a parent's perspective)[CTA(APP)] is conducting a nationwide operation in which they will awaken teens to take proper care of their bowels. As of now the program consists of 3 educational seminars a semester, an information kit with starter-level hygienic colon apparatuses, and a "Run for the Runs for Fun" 5km footrace.
While no official news has been heard, Cathleen Keendler, chairwoman of CTA(APP) has been heard saying that she hopes Stool Safety courses will eventually integrate into high school curriculum. "That whole thing with those acne pills" Says Keendler, "was entirely the kids' fault. Sure the pills irritated the colon like none other, but every teen should know how to care for their rear port in a situation like this. Are you telling me this new generation of parents aren't potty training anymore? Forget about it "
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